• The Darkened Corridor

5 more British Cryptids to spill your tea over in horror

Just when you thought it was safe to walk outside again, after the last British Cryptid list, It’s time for part 2! Yes, the last list was just a sample of British Cryptids,we have much more than that to offer. Perhaps it’s not surprising, the British Isles are steeped in history, folklore, and hearsay which spread the stories like wildfire. So without further ado, here are 5 more British Cryptids you may not have heard of.

The Canvey Island Monster

I remember back in 2007, people were going mental on the South coast of England. Branscombe Beach down near Exmouth was treated to some rather expensive flotsam. A load of BMW motorcycles had washed up on the shore, much to the locals delight. Nevermind the salty smell and the barnacles hanging from the brake lights, this was free stuff. How the people of Canvey Island would have wished for such a bounty back in the 1950’s.

As a reclaimed piece of land on the Thames, Canvey Island has an interesting relationship with the river. On two particular occasions in 1953 and 1954 respectively, the Thames was to spit something out of its guts that the locals weren’t expecting. A gruesome looking fish, or something similar. Said to be red with bulging eyes, and with - curiously - hind legs, the aquatic beast is largely considered today to be an angler fish, although quite where the legs came from I'm not 100% sure.

It’s been a while since the last Canvey Island monster washed up, so for now, it’s probably safe to go paddling in the waters - so long as you avoid the shopping trolleys and used condoms that is.

The Hull Werewolf

Big, hairy, beastly. It could be something that everyone has seen on a night out in a British town or city. But back in 2016, Hull was to be terrified by what witnesses described as a werewolf. Now, this is reported in a tabloid, so I'm putting on my cynical goggles, and spreading sceptical marmalade all over my doubtful toast, but if we take it at face value then Hull may have it’s very own wolfman.

Apparently on that fateful night, 7 witnesses reported seeing the beast, with one claiming that she saw it transform from a man into the 8ft tall creature. Another couple saw it chomping on the corpse of a German Shepard, which is a good gauge of the size they thought it was.

To my knowledge though, reports were confined to that portion of the year. Perhaps the illuminati sent out a squad to recapture the beast and take it back to the research lab - that’s logical, right?

You can read the juicy scoop in the Express here.

The Shuck

From one lovable doggo to another. The Shuck is a cute little dog that strolls around East Anglia. This adorable little creature is being the size of a horse, PBS kids will know from Clifford the Big Red Dog lore that someone loved the hell out of it. What a lovely cryptid to have. Awwwww.

Oh, did I mention that it’s an omen of death? That to see it means your days are apparently numbered? Some accounts say that it has one cyclops like eye in the middle of its face, and has a howl that can make your blood curdle. But still, post him on instagram with #dogsofinstagram and I'm sure he’ll go down a storm - and why wouldn’t you, it may well be the last thing you do.

British Wildcats

There are so many different stories of British big cats, that i’m going to clump them all together. From the infamous Beast of Bodmin -possibly the most photogenic of the cats, to lesser known regional examples, big cats are everywhere apparently.

I personally have always had an interest in big cats in Britain, though not necessarily a belief in them. I grew up in very rural Lincolnshire. The kind of place where people still stare at cars as if they’re a novelty. We had our own story of what was to be affectionately called the Lindsey Leopard, a big cat who called my village and many surrounding its territory. I never saw any evidence of it, and it wasn’t through lack of searching. My siblings and I would wander around the most wilderness like areas we could find looking for paw prints, fur, carcasses - anything and we found nothing. That isn’t to say we were entirely scientific about the operation, but we should have perhaps seen something at least slightly questionable, if the frequency of reports was to be believed.

And this is the problem i’ve always had with British big cats. There’s not enough evidence that a big cat could even live in modern Britain, let alone undetected. Even in the rural backwater that I grew up in, the marshes and forests that would have once housed Britain's great predators, bears, wolves etc. have given way to huge open fields. Surely there would be much more evidence, atleast for the Lindsey Leopard, should it actually exist.

The Beast of Tenby

I can best describe the Beast of Tenby as the British Montauk Monster, not because of its provenance, but because of how it was found, and what it looked like. Have a peek on the Cryptid Wiki page (which is a fantastic resource by the way) and have a look at how uncanny it is. The Tenby monster and the Montauk monster could borrow each other’s IDs to get served illegally in pubs.

Whilst the Montauk monster is often put down to a research lab just off the coast, the Tenby monster has no such easy answer. Well - aside from the boring, obvious and most likely accurate one. If we suspend our disbelief as high as a coke bottle filled with Mentos, we could assume that this hairless, clawed beasty is some kind of unknown animal that lives along the Welsh coastline.

Officially though, we are told that it’s simply the rotting, sodden ,bloated corpse of an unfortunate Jack Russell Terrier. But what fun is that, right? All up for the rogue Welsh cryptid, am I right?

So, there we have it. 5 more British Cryptids to wet your appetite. So, when you’re lying awake at night, hearing a loud noise outside your small British house, don’t even bother trying to rationalise it as a fox or badger, it’s definitely one of these beasts come to seize you whilst you’re at your most vulnerable. Sweet dreams.

Have you got any more British Cryptids that you think I should take a look at? Is there another country you’d like me to delve into? Let me know!